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"Once two martians land their flying saucer out in the country next to an abandonded gas station. They get out, pull out their ray guns, and approach the old gas pump.
One martian says, "Earthman, take us to your leader!" But the pump doesn't reply. So the martian threatens to shoot the earthman if he doesn't reply.
But the other martian warns his partner, "Hey, better be careful, this earth dude looks like a real bad ass!"
Still the first martian takes no heed, and he shoots the pump with his ray gun; but it explodes in a big fire ball and blows these two martians about 100 yards away.
They pick themselves off the ground and the first martian asks, "Wow! He was a bad ass! How could you tell?"
The 2nd martian replies, "Well, I figure any man that can wrap his dick twice around his shoulder and stick it in his ear, has GOT to be a bad ass!!""
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