Forum - Advice needed for a virgin newbie!

Hello everyone. I'm a newbie here, and I am learning a lot about the world of escorts and hobbyists by reading the forums, so I decided to start my own topic here and see what advice I can get.

I am a single 45 year old man, never married, and no kids...in fact, I am still a virgin. No lie, it's the truth. I don't consider myself ugly or repulsive, but I'm not aggressive, and very shy when it comes to women. I just have never found the right woman for me, I guess.

I have been on numerous online dating sites, but not much luck there either, I'm afraid. It's almost as if women can sense my complete lack of experience, and that seems to be my problem. I thought if I visited an escort, I could lose some of my inhibitions, and gain confidence. Am I right in that assumption?

So, I have a few questions. Is it important to tell the escort that I've never been with a woman before (I do believe in honesty)? How will she treat me differently, if at all, from her other clients? What helpful hints should I remember to make the whole experience pleasurable for both of us? I'm sure that escorts must get men that are looking for their first experience quite often, but I would think that one my age is unusual.

Someday I hope to get up enough courage to visit an escort. In the meantime, I am learning a lot by being here. They say that the only stupid question is the one not asked!

Yes, its very common for men to seek out an escort to lose their virginity, gain confidence and gain experience. I have seen men who are emotionally 'shunned' because of disfigurement (amputees, burn victims, thalidomide victims). They (and you) have the same needs for companionship, physical and emotional touch, and sex as the rest of us.


Absolutely. You're not going to shock us. I guarantee - we have heard much worse. As things go, this is relatively benign.


That depends on the escort. You need someone who is empathic and compassionate. Escorts are people too - they are not all created the same. Talk to her and listen to what she says. Go with your gut instincts because in your case, its not so much what she says but how she says it.


1. If you do not have experience - then do your homework! Read about relationships, sexuality and sexual techniques. Use the Internet; there are a lot of self-help resources out there.

2. Do not put stress on yourself to 'perform'. If you have any kind of dysfunction (premature ejaculation, erectile dysfunction, etc.), get yourself checked out by a doctor.

3. Do not put off tomorrow what you can do today. Don't just talk about seeing an escort. Set your fears aside and just do it. Otherwise you will become a 50 year old virgin, or 60 year old virgin.

4. Practice, practice, practice!

Good luck and best wishes,
Dominixe

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An elegant courtesan among Calgary escorts, providing vip executive escort companionship to business travelers. Experience elite GFE, fetish, and domination services from the best of Calgary escorts.

I'm a mature very affectionate lady who sees many newbies from 21-80 years old. Only a few have told me they were virgins and I thought how wonderful.

It was a great experience for them since I am overly affectionate and love to kiss forever. It was even better for me because they wanted me to give directions and help in pleasing me. What a great combination !

Yes you can mention how nervous you are and this is a first just don't say it more than once. Never ask about services or you may make the lady feel uncomfortable. Check for any reviews here for a lady in your area so you know the lady is for real and you'll have an idea what to expect. Do look for a mature woman who enjoys kissing and mutual play. This will make a better time for you.

Good luck in your search for that special lady

Kisses Haley

I agree 100% with haley about looking for the services of a mature escort. We have the life experience that younger escorts do not (necessarily) have. They can be uncomfortable with your situation because it is often new to them as well.

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An elegant courtesan among Calgary escorts, providing vip executive escort companionship to business travelers. Experience elite GFE, fetish, and domination services from the best of Calgary escorts.

Thank you, Dominixe and Haley,

You both have given me some great advise. Even though I have fantasies about being with a nubile young woman (what man hasn't), I think it would be very uncomfortable to be with an escort that was young enough to be my daughter. There is a country song that says, "Older women are beautiful lovers". Now I think I know what that is all about.

Now my task is to find the right escort for me. The ones I see here that advertise in cities close to me are mostly younger women. I live in a rural area, so I realize that I may have to travel a distance to meet someone, or perhaps we could meet halfway. How do escorts charge for their travel costs?

I like the idea of having a relationship with an escort, of being a regular client. I'm sure that's when real intamacy is at it's best, and I have read in escort's blogs and interviews that they prefer regulars. I think that my distance from any major city could put a damper on how often I could visit with an escort, but I would sure make the effort to meet as often as I could. How often do your regulars visit with you? Is there an average that you feel most comfortable with?

Yes, I know that I have lots of questions, but if I'm ever going to do this, I need to know as much as I can. Thanks again for the advise. You two are beautiful, classy ladies that I would love to meet someday. If you're ever in my neck of the woods, let me know!

Hi sixinchhotdog,

I am a man about your age (45) and was a vegin until 7 years ago.
I am not ugly at all but just as you mention had no confidence when meeting woman.
I have never used any online dating services since usually woman where approaching me when I was going out to bars and clubs and even at work, but I was very shy with no confidence and basically this behaviour does not attract female unless you have the courage to tell them upfront you have no experience.
Very few woman would conceder continuing any kind of relationship when they understand that at this age we are still vergins but if you'll find the first woman who will give you the chance (and it doesn't metter if its a professional escort acting as girl friend or a regulat woman you meet) to explore your fears, to be empatic and emotional with you then you'll gain some experience and confidence to a much better life.

For me, my first experience (at age 38+-) wasn't with a professional escort but rather with a woman I met in a club (not in my city).
It was easier for me to say upfront to a woman not from my "neigbourhood" that I'm still a vergin with no dating/sex/etc... experience.
She was very kind to understand and didn't run away :-)
She was a sweetheart and in 3 months relationship I've gained enough confedence to continue with my life.
It was a special experience for both of us and so it should be for you my friend.

Please step forword and take an action (do not just sit on the fence, the fence is cold and unfortunatly can't shre with you emotions).
I think that if I knew there were such nice woman, as in this site, many years ago, I would loose my virginity and gained confedence many years earlier.

Since those "dark days" have past (for me) 7 years ago, I now can tell you that I've become a "wild animal" with very little inhibitions and every day is an excellent day to explore and learn (even about myself) new things.

Best of luck and wishes to many many years of love/intimacy/emotions/exploration.

-dovik

Hey dovik,

Thanks for sharing your story. You have given me hope that my situation is not all that uncommon, and there is reason to believe that I am on the right track here. In today's world, people think there is something wrong with you if you're still a virgin when you reach middle age. That is why I thought an escort might understand my situation better than the average woman. So far, I have been encouraged by the people that I've met here. I am learning a lot, so when I decide to go through with this, I'll be better prepared.

Thanks for the encouragement my friend, it means a lot to me.

Do take haley's & dominixe's advice to heart, a mature woman will be "better equipped" with her life experience, in many instances, to make your encounter with more relaxed and fulfilling.

Hello sixinchhotdog I agree with Haley & Dominixe, best thing is to take your time, meet the lady of your choice for a couple of hours this allows you and her more time. And that’s important, most experienced ladies will know how to deal with lots of different clients, even the most experienced gentleman when meeting a new lady for the first time are nervous as they don’t know what to expect. So more experienced ladies are aware of this and have had time to learn how to relax you and make you feel comfortable in most situations with out rushing you.
Tell the lady of your choice, that your a virgin, let her talk to you, and enjoy being in her company and don’t be afraid to look at her, most ladies put a lot of effort into trying to be a perfect as possible, so don’t be embarrassed in her presence, she will quickly relax you.
Find a lady who kisses and love to touch and be touched, there is nothing like feeling the lips of someone else against yours, and feel her soft smooth hand touch you and hold you. And it’s those moments as well you should enjoy.
One last thing, as you made your date a couple of hours there is no rush, but remember, you don’t have to have full sex if you don’t want, you can always go back and when you do you will know the lady better, you will remember the smell of her perfume, the way she glides around the room, how she sits, her voice, her touch and her kiss, and all this can heighten the experience the next time that you see her, and because you do remember all these things and you remember how enjoyable it was to be sat in her company, you know you can relax a lot easier and sooner and enjoy. Goodluck